Are you a child who grew up in a dysfunctional environment? Have your parent done something that scarred you for life? When your primary caregiver fails in parenting by default it plants the seed of doubt in you. You go through life knowing that part of that DNA is in you, and you start believing you’ll become like them. So you learn to build emotional walls around yourself. You cut yourself short on allowing yourself to feel joyful & positive feelings. You keep people at arms length and become emotionally unavailable when you like someone. You believe is for the better.
The idea that your past prevents your future is a burden YOU carry. You can decide to put all that behind you if you want. It’s like that story about the both wolfs inside you. The one who’ll win will be the one you keep on feeding.
You need to learn, know & be aware that you are not your parent(s)! You are a completely different human being made from completely different DNA, environment, circumstances and at different times than your parent(s). You can love, be loved, raise generations who won’t have to go through what you’ve been through. You can! You have so much love to give! Allow yourself to feel good.